On being homeless;

I've lost two people who I thought were my best friends during this ordeal, for no apparent reason whatsoever. I don't understand their outrage at my situation. I moved several states away, so I am not at all taking up their time. I'm not crashing in their houses, I'm not eating their food. I have never once asked either of them for money at all since I became homeless. It makes no sense at all to me.

However, I've met so many strangers, online and in real life, who have offered me money, a place to sleep, random bits of kindness, without even knowing me first. I find it so strange that people I've never seen in my life would offer to help me, when people I've know for years will turn their backs on me.

Anyways, I find that being homeless is not so bad, under certain circumstances. I am lucky enough to have a car, so that is where I sleep at night. I got foodstamps, because I cannot find a job and therefor have no money, so I eat regularly. I have access to a laptop, and live in a busy enough area that I can just sit in a barnes and noble or borders and search the internet for things to entertain me, or job hunt, or whatever. I managed to get a gym membership, so I can shower regularly, so I do not smell. I have sleeping bags, a very warm blanket, and pillows, so I am warm at night. I have my boyfriend with me, so I am not alone.

The only real downside is that I can't eat warm food as often as I'd like, and I can't really do any fun things, because we lack money, and most money we do get goes into my gas tank.

So really, under the right circumstances, being homeless isn't that bad.

Wanna know what makes me happy?

Those "xcelorator" hand dryers in public restrooms. You know, the ones that make your skin ripple? The ones that actually make your hands dry?

They make me smile, seriously.

This entry is brought to you by:

My blind rage at how people have been treating me lately!

And by people, I mean my "friends."

Sure, sure. I can see where the worry factor comes in, with me being homeless. I do not begrudge my friends their worry. I, if any of them were in a situation similar to mine, would worry for them just as much. No, it is not their worry that enrages me so much as their mulish refusal to believe that living in a car is not that bad.

I recently put up a note on my facebook, in attempt to reassure my lovely friends that I am in fact alright. I'm getting over a cold, and I'm dealing with the oddness that is my break up with my boyfriend, shit. I'm even preparing myself to go home after christmas, when my dad can send me a li'l christmas money.

How do they respond?

By calling me stupid and childish, of course. AWESOME! This makes me want to go and see them all the more. They seem to think that because I am living in my car, I am slacking off in life, eating a bunch of food with my taxpayer paid foodstamps, having a jolly ol' time. Partying it up and all that happy bullshit.

They don't have a fucking clue.

Blah blah blah

Well, this is my first post on this little thing. It's been ages since I kept any kind of a blog/journal/whatever, so, I bet I'll post on this shit like, twice and then forget about it. That's kind of what I do. Or maybe I'll wind up actually posting here as a way to vent my stupid awkward emotions. I'm not a teenager anymore, dammit. I should be less awkward.

But of course not. So first, some facts about myself:
I'm 20,
I have a vagina
I'm homeless. I live in my car. (it's tons of fun, trust me)
I live with my (recently ex?)boyfriend. In my car. There is just so much room.
I can't find a job because its the fucking holiday season, and no one wants to hire an inexperienced idiot like myself.
In the last six months or so, I've moved 4 times. Or 5. Something like that. I went from connecticut to vermont to virginia to texas and back to virginia. So yeah, 5.
I have piercings and fading odd colored hair tra la la. Thats probably another reason why I'm jobless. They must be able to pick up my "punky chick" vibe via my online applications.

Uh, yeah. So thats me, I guess. I'm going to use this as a place to vent, bitch, post random things I find amusing and all that happy bullshark, so my friends don't have to listen to me whine anymore~

THAT BEING SAID, earlier today, my boyfriend and I had a chat about how we don't really get along/don't really like any of the same things/whatever and I changed all my relationship statuses to single. THIS IS SRS GUYS. And I'm still living with him, in my tiny ass chevy monte carlo. And I'll be stuck living with him until I can save up enough cash to get back to my family in the frigid north. This is exciting.

Oh, and just to warn you lucky ducks (though I doubt anyone will ever actually read this~) I abuse caps lock like its the cool thing to do. :D

Cheers